On Tuesday Tautoro School travelled up to Northland College for our kapa haka dress rehearsal. My heart started to skip beats as soon as I got on the stage. Am I going to muck up? I was thinking to myself. Something is going to go wrong, I thought.
Walking onto the stage it felt like my tummy was a tuna net that eels were trying to slip out of. I was feeling nervous. I wanted to sink into my own world and disappear. Bit by bit fear sneakily creeped up my spine. My hands sweating up a storm as I clenched them together tightly. As I looked into the crowd I saw a lot of schools which made me feel like I was shrinking and I was growing a ‘new pair of skin’.We were standing in our lines like soldiers, waiting for power to come on us.
As soon as the curtains opened my eyes widen with the amount of people that was sitting in the crowd. There was so many people in the crowd it made me forget the first song. My heart started to skip beats as we walked to the front of the stage to showcase our performance.
"Hopi, Kiraro!" Harmony and I called like a chief above us. We were all in position, following his commands like trained warriors.We waited for the curtains to open again... 3, 2, 1 The curtains began to open! Right there in front of us was a massive, cheering crowd. It was like we were presenting on X Factor.The excitement grew inside me like a dog knowing it is about to get a feed.All eyes were on me, if I made a mistake it would haunt me. I was so nervous, eels twisting and turning inside my stomach.
“No! I am going to muck up!” I thought to myself. Now it was the rakau and this part is the hardest. I was so nervous I thought to myself, “am I going to drop the stick?” Looking into the crowd I saw all eyes on me, putting a blank picture into my head and making me forget the moves to the rakau. Although to overcome my fear I knew that I had to concentrate on the rakau. Once we finished the rakau I felt so relieved because I completed the rakau without dropping any. After a few seconds while we were about to head off stage we heard two powerful voices reach out to us and grab our attention. Nana Winnie and Nana Hoki done a powerful mihi to us which emotionally made some of us cry.
This was the best Cultural Festival that I had ever been to while attending Tautoro School because, it was our first time that we performed as a whole school and it was the first time that we ever performed the rakau.
List 3 things that you think you did well in this text. (not punctuation or capital letters or spelling)
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2. My paragraphs support the development of the text.
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3. I have used precise language choices consistently to enhance meaning and/or mood.
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What do you need to work on to improve your writing?
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In my writing I need to improve on making sure that I am using the right spelling. (Present or Past.)
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Hi Gerry, this recount is packed full of descriptive and figurative language! Well done for holding onto your learning and for learning from others. My advice is to continue to focus on three events/ideas as well as mood and build your detail and descriptive language to support them. Considering events from someone else's perspective will add complexity to your idea (why did Nany Wini mihi to Tautoro School). Also, as it is being used incorrectly,try not use the word 'done' unless used with 'have' as in have done. Keep up the awesome work, you are a great role model in our school.
ReplyDeleteThanks whaea and I will remember to try not to use done. Thanks for the advice as well, it will really help me with my work and help be come more independent with my recount writing.
ReplyDeleteHey Miss, you used 'done' again in your latest blog title.
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